These women have had their hearts stolen
Their feet blackened from the darkness of where they walked
Their hearts no longer positioned where they should be
Behind every one of them is the same thief
He stands proudly amongst them
His heart black from delivering their hearts to the blackness of death
Many women are ashamed and keep their scam secret for fear of embarrassment or ridicule, the living become the ones they fear the most. The victim is left to feel a certain shame and embarrassment afer the crime but she should not. She is responsible for how she spends her money, she does not owe an explanation to anyone, it is no one elses business how she spends it or what she spends it on. If the family is upset at giving money away it may be because it was not given to them. Everyone wants money, even family. Perhaps family members have been left with a financial burden from the scam and the crime has affected them financially, families pull together in need all the time, it is a situation that requires a solution She thought she was doing the right thing at the time, she is upset because she was duped, she was taken advantage of and she knows that. She knows she is responsible for sending the money, where was her loving family at that time to help her, to send her scam information, to link her to someone with more knowledge of scams who could tell her it was not real. She needs more than being told it might be a scam, follow-up, she needs more than one sentence to listen to truth. Show her. Bring her to a new awareness so she can make an informed decision by herself. Help her to help herself, investigate for her, do the work for her. Scammers request that transfers are to be kept from others so as to shield them from embarrassment when they finally meet the family, perhaps she did not let anyone know. Ask her about her life, who she is talking to, ask questions, equip her with questions to ask him. Internet dating is different in that the whole family can scrutinize the suitor's outlook.
The scammer made the woman feel good, she may not have fallen so hard for those feelings if she did not need them so much, maybe she has been incredibly lonely, working hard, raising her family, always being the giver and receiving little in return, the family dynamic has contributed to her need although they are not responsible for the crime and neither is she. Maybe she came from a broken home and had an absent father, perhaps she is raising young children with little outside family contact, there could be many reasons.
The scammer became part of the family and was treated no different than any other family member in need. She will now be wary of bringing strangers in to her family. Make her feel safe by allowing her the freedom to talk about her scam, make her feel safe in her family home again. Back