Making it happen is why you placed yourself on an online dating agency. You built your life upon the man in the photo that you are in love with. But that man is not the man he claimed to be. It does take some time to let go of the image of the man you thought you were in love with. The first instinct is wanting to find out who the man in the photo actually is, wondering if perhaps you found him he would really fall in love with you and wanting to find the identity that was used to woo you is strong.
It is hard to come to terms that you were in love with someone completely different and if your emails are coming from Nigeria, then almost guaranteed you were in love with a very black man/woman, this does not change the way you feel about him. He made it happen too. Love manifests in many ways and breaks down many barriers.
The romance scammer does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship, his loving gestures in between money requests make it difficult for the woman to leave, he makes the woman believe that she is the only person who can help him. He ridicules her for making suggestions such as going to the Embassy or a charity for help and he stops this abusive behaviour when it is to his advantage to do so. He makes claims to self-harm and send his body to her door in a body bag for her to believe in him. Her self-esteem and happiness erodes as she continues her journey with him. He is making it happen.
Australian Competition and Consumer Commission is calling on the online dating and romance industry to comment on draft guidelines to combat romance scams
Draft Guideline Information
ABC 7.30 Report January 2012 - Online romance leads to financial fleecing
February 13 2012 - The Australian and Consumer Commission - Best practice guidelines for dating websites